Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
