I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
