Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
