I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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