I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
