I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
