It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
