Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
