Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
