I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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