It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
