I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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