How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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