Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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