Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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