I smell stomach acid.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
