I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
