Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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