I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
