Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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