and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
