Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
