Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
