So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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