Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
