don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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