WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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