Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
