operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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