you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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