You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
