I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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