not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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