Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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