is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
