we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just cropdusted the office
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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