Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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