i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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