i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
