If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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