Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
