Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
