oh god the rape fog is back!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
