Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
