her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
