So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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