Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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