I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
