suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
