Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
