It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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