Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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