how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
