So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
