i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
