Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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