As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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