They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
