38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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